Artist’s Statement on Cindy’s inner pain

The portrait for the book “Behold the Dreamers” by Imbolo Mbue shows the sad reality of the Edwards family. The main figure is Cindy Edwards, her head buried in her crossed arms, reflecting her shame and helplessness. She turns to alcohol to escape the heavy burden of keeping the family together. Meanwhile, her husband, Clark Edwards, is physically present but emotionally absent. He appears as a dark silhouette, holding a phone, symbolizing how work comes before his family.

The wine glass in Cindy’s hand carries deep meaning. Inside it is a trapped dove—her youngest son, Mightey—who is stuck in the family’s struggles and unable to find his own path. In contrast, her older son, Vincent, is a dove flying free from the glass. He has broken away, chasing his dream of traveling to India. While Vincent escapes, Mightey remains caught in the cycle of dysfunction.

The colors in the painting are mostly gray and simple. This reflects modern minimalism but also shows the emptiness and confusion within the family. Cindy blends into the background as if she is fading into the stress and sadness. The family is falling apart, and she feels lost. Her golden blonde hair, perfectly manicured nails, and the deep red wine stand out, creating a sharp contrast between outer beauty and inner suffering. These details highlight how she appears put together but is falling apart inside.

The meaning deepens with the quote: “He thinks… he thinks he has the right,” Cindy whimpered, slightly above a whisper. “Everyone… they all think they’ve got the right to treat me as they wish.” This moment shows Cindy’s breakdown. She realizes that not only does her husband mistreat her, but everyone around her sees her as an object. She feels hopeless, and her emotional collapse seems unavoidable 
 

On fear

This digital poster I made is about the Topic of fear, exploring the inner demons of the major characters (Jende Jonga and Clark Edwards) of the drama “Behold the Dreamers”. The en%re poster is in black and white style, because the dark atmosphere is fi(ng very well to describe their fears and worries inside their soul. On the le+ side if the poster is a destroyed Statue of Liberty in a desert landscape, near her Jende Jonga, nervously si(ng, holding his hand to his forehead. He says: “Please, God forbid bad things. Be2er you give me a bo2le of kerosene to drink and die right now.” (chapter 3; page 19; ll. 1-2). He is saying this because during a conversa%on with Winston and Bubakar they created a plan, in which Jende shall lie to the government, that the father of the girl, Jonga had sex with, is threatening to kill him and so get an asylum and a+er that easily the green card to stay with his family in America forever. But it’s very risky to do so. If this whole decep%on will be exposed (it will later), he fears that all the efforts to build a be2er life for his family, building a less poor life and difficult than in his family home country and his whole family will be deported back to Cameroon in the end. The fact that he came to the USA illegally makes this plan even riskier, so Jende Jonga's fear significantly increases. The destroyed statue in the desert perfectly illustrates his crumbling hopes to get a good life for him, his wife Neni and his son Liomi (Timba will born later in drama) and the worry about the deporta%on of all them with him. On the right side of digital poster is the office of Clark Edwards. Three skyscrapers can be seen behind the windows. Clark is si(ng on the le+ chair and Jende Jonga on the right chair. A+er a long conversa%on, Clark is answering Jende why he fires him, but says it in a nervous, cau%ous, evasive way: “It’s … it’s complicated”, guessing the truth, Jende asks: “Is it Mrs. Edwards, sir?”. Clark remains stubborn, without answering the ques%on of Jende (chapter 38; page 175; ll. 28-30). The a2empt to avoid telling Jende the truth, shows how deep the problems of his family are and how emo%onally unstable his wife (Cindy Edwards) is (the real reason for firing Jende is, that Cindy wanted it, feeling ashamed that Jende saw her troubled, bad lifestyle). This and the o+en quarrels with his own wife have a strong effect on Clark. The dark tones of the Background show how big his fear is to do anything wrong and confusion about how not to harm your friends, colleagues and family at the same %me. Clark is also afraid of losing control over his family and that this will collapse in the end, because he is much concentrated on the job, less on family 
 

My artwork focuses on Neni’s thoughts and inner life as she faces the decision to blackmail Cindy with the pictures she took of her using drugs. Neni is a strong and confident woman who would do everything to help her family in hard times. This scene was really interesting to work with, as I was surprised by her actions when reading it for the first time. While working with the scene, I noticed that her attitude changes over time. At the beginning, she was sure she had done the right thing and wanted to protect her family. But later, especially after facing criticism from her husband, she begins to second-guess her decision to blackmail Cindy. After Cindy’s death, she is shaken and feels guilty for what she did to a woman who was already in a bad situation.

I wanted to portray the different sides in Neni’s mind in my poster. Therefore, I thought about what might have influenced Neni on her decision to blackmail Cindy, and also what thoughts came to her afterwards. To showcase these in the poster, I researched colors associated with these general topics so I could stay consistent and create a section for each. My categories and colors were: wife (red), family (orange), friends (yellow), morality (light blue), personality – determination, courage, strength, intelligence (mid/dark blue), women cohesion (purple), mother (pink), and race (brown).

In the center of the poster, I placed the silhouette of a confident African woman to represent Neni. I picked a silhouette because the novel doesn’t give an exact physical description of Neni, and I wanted her to remain open to interpretation. The woman stands confidently to reflect Neni’s strength and determination, especially in how she acts to protect her family. I also wanted to highlight her cultural identity, as she comes from Cameroon. Her background shapes how she views her world and impacts her decisions.

Neni is a strong, determined, and smart person who knows how to navigate situations. As a caring mother and wife, family plays a big role in her life and she wants to protect her children and support her husband however she can. Lastly, she believes that people like Cindy look down on Africans and think they can do whatever they want with people like her. On the other hand, topics like her morality speak against her decision, as Neni is a Christian and is influenced by general social values. She also risks losing friends like Cindy or Anna, Cindy’s housekeeper. In addition, women’s cohesion is a factor against her actions, Neni had made a promise to Cindy after helping her in a vulnerable moment not to tell anyone what she had seen.

As stated above, I chose the colors based on their associations with each topic. The symbols were also chosen to represent the ideas behind each category. For “wife,” I used symbols of love (hearts, the word “love,” red roses) and placed wedding rings in the center to show her bond with her husband. For “family,” I used images that show how diverse families can be (like different citizenships), but also how they still support each other, including pictures of human families and a bird family. “Friends” is shown through symbols of joy, hope (sun, sunflowers), and memories (cameras). “Morality” is represented with a scale, the yin and yang symbol (balance between right and wrong), as well as an ankh or an eye to show moral awareness. For “personality,” I used symbols like books, mirrors, and icebergs to show her depth and intelligence, as well as symbols of her determination like a focused eye, a knife, and lightning. For “women cohesion,” I connected Neni and Cindy through symbols like expensive clothes, which Cindy gave her as a gift after Neni helped her. For “mother,” I used loving and caring symbols like hearts, baby feet, or a mother holding a child. Lastly, for “race,” I showed her Cameroonian identity through images of Limbe and the relationship between the Jonga and Edwards families. Symbols like chains and closed doors represent the difficulties Neni faced as a black woman, and how she believes the Edwards think they’re above them in society. I also used flowers across different categories to symbolize how all these sides are connected and influence Neni’s complex decision-making process.

What was challenging in the process of making the artwork was finding symbols and pictures that clearly represent each topic. It was also time-consuming to place them carefully in the poster to create a visually balanced design where colors and topics go well together. While working with the symbols and topics, I realized how rich and diverse Neni’s inner world is, and how many different elements might have influenced her decision to blackmail Cindy.

For the quote, I chose page 189, lines 37–40: “She sat down on the sofa, livid and humiliated. How could he see her as one of those kinds of people when all she was doing was trying to help their situation? And now she was wicked? She was a bad person for being a good mother and wife?” In my opinion, this shows Neni’s main reasons for blackmailing Cindy, but also her uncertainty about whether it was right. It also shows the influence her husband has on her inner world, since his opinion matters a lot to her. The quote connects to many of my topics, such as mother, wife, family, morality, and even personality.